Part I – Three General Ideas:

The first: In the ways of nature, the stagnant, stale, and immobile is always associated with decay. Things decay when they are in a state of rest for a very, very long time. And by rest, I mean, staying in the same place for a long period. External ailments affect the stale, and they eat it up. Be with water, fruit, insect, animal, or a flower, that is the same. So things tend to move, always, dead or alive, they can’t stay the same. Anima is of response. The response is movement.

The second: In the mind of man, the most important aspect of the whole being is meaning. Every human being starves to find meaning in everything and anything around him, or that he could think of or imagine. We are such misers, we crave to find the meanings of dreams themselves. Meaning is the most important aspect of human existence. For example, gold is not important, the meaning of that metal is – that rarity gives it value, and the value is what you are wearing. It is the meaning that makes the world sustainable if not, we could all just give up.

The third: Entropy. Things always tend to move, starting from the planets to the minutest of the atoms in a certain restless way, always trying to find that one structure in which they could be finally at rest. And, that is the reason for evolution. If something misses in anything, not just you and I, but the whole universe stretches itself so much as to fill that void, to make it perfect, to correct the mistake, or to extract something that has more value. That is how we are evolving, and we will evolve. That is why the universe is expanding or will decline. We are in constant search for one after the other aspect of the same thing. And we can never be satisfied. We are all Ravana’s PushpakaVimanas – fill to its prescribed maximum and still, there is a place for the next one – people, emotions or needs.

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Part II – Two Specific Details:

A relationship is a give-and-take business. And there is nothing wrong with it. Kids tend to philosophize, “Even parents expect things back from us, theirs is also not true love,” and it is hard to explain to such kids that it is their understanding of love that is flawed, not love itself. Even in platonic love, the beloved needs to radiate, and the lover needs to ooze out emotion, that is something that’s given and taken. On the bizarre scales, one needs to exist to be loved, either in reality, fiction, or in a bereaved madness. That is the beloved’s job there, to exist at all. The lover would give love then. Without no give and take, relationships cannot exist.

Establishing the earlier point, I wish to have an addition:

Most of the time, we all play a singular role. To give or to take. The giver keeps on giving and is expected to give more and more with time, and the taker keeps on taking, without any hints of returning. Such relationships are hard to survive. Balance is the essence of a relationship. One might be a great giver, and the other might be an obedient taker, but with zero role reversals, the eternal spring of the giver’s spirit slowly starts to wane off. At the same time, the taker’s life turns out to be miserable, for his appetite to take increases, but he couldn’t find enough love to quench his thirst.

The relationship breaks.

Role reversal is essential, and that mutual give and take come from mutual respect. The demands differ. The giver might be insistent on giving all the time, or the taker might be the insistent one. Whoever it is, there should be enough respect to reverse the roles at every proper moment, and with that, there needs to be some initiation to do so, for helping each other. That helps each other more than one can envisage. No one should be barren by the end of the tunnel. Not because of giving too much, or because of taking. To nourish and to be nourished are equally important.

Then comes the space.

Till now it might seem like I have been talking about a couple, but no. It can happen to anyone. Sometimes parents expect too much from their children, not returning much, and sometimes the same happens with siblings, and we all have these friends who are overtly dependent on us, or on whom we depend. In the relationship, under the fever of giving and taking, we slowly start to conquer the other’s space. The space which is ethereal. The space where the personality of this person develops heals and resides. When one’s space is crumbled, they are compelled to repel away. They try their best to find their space, by all means. That space is precious for any human. In the passion, one of the two might be ready to give up their own space, but, the other person might be of a different mind. We cannot know why and about what that space is important for a person, and one cannot judge why the other is not ready to give up when he is.

Freedom is the incentive of a relationship, as much as slavery is. I mean, as much as we want to belong to a person, exactly on the other hand we do not want to be. And letting them have their own space paves the way to a healthy relationship that is founded on freedom, a much better choice than bondage.

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Part III – One Essential Evocation:

No human can be the same at any two given moments. We either grow or shrink, depending on our mental and physical health. We are here as a machine that constantly learn, learn and evolve.

Evolve.

The process of evolution is natural and cannot be, hence, stopped or restricted. In one way or the other, there is always a change in us. And with us, there is a change in our relationships.

In the quest for meaning, or because of entropy, we keep on changing the paradigms of our relationships, and that happens every moment. We either find the relationship more beautiful and meaningful, or we make it precious for ourselves. As a result, we seek more and more, and a little more from it, trying to find some satisfaction in having it completely. But, restlessness resides no matter how much we consume. To own, to reign, and to not let go are our chief instincts, and they do influence the way we perceive our relationships and the people to whom we are related. And when we feel like we can’t get enough, or that there is a slight change in the stream we receive, we tend to be anxious.

Anxiety.

Anxiety is a killer of relationships. Acceptance is the antidote.

Except for one or two major relationships in life, all other relationships tend to change massively with time. But that is the part of evolution. Evolution keeps the relationship alive.

When we naturally go with the flow of the relationship, we do not carry anything against it, and that goes well with us. The harder we try to control it, and of course we cannot, and we realize that, we will be filled with anger, anxiety, and hopelessness, which are the real killers of that relationship.

Change is a monster-looking Angel. It saves the relationship from getting stagnant and dying. But we are so worried looking at the surface, we kill it ourselves.

No relationship can remain stagnant. Even if it is really good or terribly bad and hurting, it will always evolve. Just because a phase is too good to believe, we cannot alter the evolution. It happens anyway. We are all moving from various environments, touched by many people, and affected by our current surroundings. We all change. We are all involved in our contemporary lives. As humans, we interact, we infuse, and we become a part of our surroundings. No one can be left behind. No one can be expected to be dethatched from their current environment to stay at a certain scene or time forever.

When you understand that your relationship is not changing in a negative sense but going through a necessary evolution, do not freak out. Do not be anxious. You can still have the same type of relationship by giving and taking, but the amounts and needs might differ. Sometimes friends tend to be evolving towards a more physically oriented relationship. To check if both of them are okay is more important, and then they can move forward. It might need not be physical, but wanting more from a person is natural in a relationship. That is entropy. We keep on trying to find some other aspect to find and conquer, to call it our own, and only ours. Evolution is natural. But being conscious is our gift, and we need to make a good choice that would positively alter our lives. And sometimes, two very closely knitted people might feel like losing out. (But where did they come from? The same evolution from a casual friendship) It is better to support each other, be there for each other and pass the phase to find a new and comfortable one – within themselves or with new people.

There are people with whom we would never want to part with. At all. With them too this happens – the change of a relationship. Be careful. Not about the change, no. It will happen anyway. Be careful not to inject your negative emotions and mess up everything. Talk with them. Discuss. Come to a comfortable conclusion. When the other person to wants to be with you for a very, very long time: be it friends, siblings, or parents – they will understand, or have them to understand. Explain the phases you are going through, how your environment is consuming you, and how these temporary things are not important compared to the permanence you are going to have. Tell them that you would find space whenever you can, and find it.

Life is not short. Life is very long. If we can understand this, we can also understand the changes that happen in our relationships. Cause with anything this long, changes ought to happen. There is no other way. If you think life is short, you will be surprised to see these many changes happening in a supposedly short time. Accept them, but be with your people comfortably. Make it a positive relationship. if it doesn’t work out, make it a positive memory in the least. Don’t fall into the traps of toxicity. Do not be afraid of voids left by people. Stay strong. Believe in life. Positive things happen often for those who are with a positive outlook.

Run about. Understand your life. And have happy and meaningful relationships with people that are around you. Remember that you are important. Everything else is a meaning that you are assigning. You can change them if you want to. Be healthy. Physically and mentally.